


Stitches

by CrackheadMossMan



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24555136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrackheadMossMan/pseuds/CrackheadMossMan
Summary: Benrey loses his helmet, and the science team gets to see his face for the first time. Benrey doesn’t react well.—————-Context: I was playing Half Life and got to the Nihilanth and was like “oh him and benrey are extremely similar what if I mix and match” and I also noticed how it has stitches in certain spots of its body so...
Comments: 12
Kudos: 339





	Stitches

Benrey followed behind the loud group, keeping his pace to slow steps, while the others rushed ahead. He dragged his hand along the walls of Black Mesa, feeling the texture of the concrete and sometimes blood-stained walls. He looked at the walls, wondering why they designed the lab so  _ bland.  _ It was just concrete or metal, it was so boring. Benrey looked in the direction of the group when he heard gunfire, and he could feel his heart racing. He loved watching fights. He didn’t like getting in them too often, he found it easier to sit back and let the scientists do it for him. Sure, he could probably kill whatever was ahead without trying, but there’s no fun in that. A game isn’t fun when there’s no challenge. That’s why he was there. To provide a challenge, but only in the end. 

The “guard” quickened his pace, the gunfire getting louder and the flashes of light from the guns of his friends getting much more noticeable now. Benrey stuck his hand in his pockets, and thought about his camera. And sure enough, when he yanked his hand out of his pockets, his camera was in his hands. You got to love video game logic. Soon enough, Benrey was in the room the science team had already made their way into, causing mayhem. 

“OH MY GOD-“ Gordon shouted, ducking behind a barrel, as a beam of green electricity shot where he was standing seconds before. The loud whirr of his gun-arm thing was almost silent underneath the roar of the Vortigaunts and shouting of the team. 

Dr. Coomer was currently punching a headcrab, with Bubby stomping on another one next to the older man. “Fine shooting, Dr. Bubby!” The man exclaimed, a bright coded smile on his face, as he looked at the other scientist, who was grinding the headcrab’s mouth into the cement floor with the heel of his shoes. Bubby didn’t respond, just laughed victoriously. 

Benrey was already bored of the two, so he turned to Tommy, who was shooting the Vortigaunt that was attacking Gordon with a pistol, missing almost every bullet. “I- I- I got you, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy shouted, closing his eyes as he shot in the general direction of the alien… 1, 2, 3, 4 times. 4 bullets shot, none in the skin of the alien. Benrey aimed his camera at Gordon, who was leaning to the left of the barrel, shooting the Vortigaunt who shrieked in pain from the many bullets penetrating it, and started to charge up another attack. Benrey hovered his finger over the button to snap a picture, watching as Gordon shook his arm repeatedly to reload. A few more gunshots from Tommy, and a single bullet going into the alien’s form. It roared in anger, or pain, Benrey couldn’t tell. Another beam of green electricity shot, and with it, the snap of a camera and a flash of white light filled the room for a moment.

“Haha, niiiice!” Benrey cheered, messing with his camera to get a closer look at the photo. 

Gordon didn’t have time to react to what was probably Benrey taking pictures again instead of being fucking useful, and leaned back over the side of the barrel, aiming his right arm at the alien and unloading the fingernail-bullets at it. Gordon laughed victoriously as it shrieked, and collapsed to the ground. “We got them!” Gordon cheered, jumping out from the barrel and waving his hands around excitedly. “Fine shooting, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer said, walking over to the man. Bubby followed closely behind, kicking the dead Vortigaunt’s head. “Those fuckers are getting on my last nerves,” Bubby growled, watching as Tommy happily flapped his hands up and down, laughing. “You said it,” Gordon happily agreed, glancing around the room, observing all the dead alien bodies littered around the room. Then Gordon’s eyes laid on Benrey, who was completely fixated on their camera, standing in the entrance of the room. 

Gordon couldn’t help but roll his eyes when he saw a headcrab crawl up behind the guard. “Behind you!” Gordon shouted, watching as the headcrab raised its legs, getting ready to pounce. “Huh? Wh-“ Benrey started, looking up from their camera and turning, only to drop the obnoxious item and get interrupted by the screech of the headcrab and the alien latching onto his face, digging its legs and teeth into his face. “Oh no-“ the guard said calmly, before reaching to yank the thing off. Gordon groaned in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose, before slowly walking to Benrey to help. 

“Uh… not a gamer moment? Kind of.. kind of cringe, bro. Get off,” Benrey said, wincing as the headcrab continued to burrow it’s teeth and legs into his face, getting its legs under his helmet. “Ow- cut it out, bro,” Benrey continued, wishing he could see what was going on, and trying to ignore the growing pain of the headcrab burrowing into his face. 

“Come here, Benrey, I’ll help,” Gordon said, voice full of irritation and annoyance. Benrey couldn’t see, the damn crab blocking his view. However, Benrey could feel Gordon grab his shoulder, and ripped his shoulder away, attempting to back away from Gordon, but only hitting the wall and pushing against it. “I don’t need- ouch- your loser help bro- I- GOT this,” Benrey protested, beginning to dig his fingers into the headcrab, getting a decent grip on it. If his face wasn’t covered, he would sure Gordon would’ve noticed the color drain from his face as Benrey felt the legs of the headcrab begin to get under and push his helmet a little.

“Wh- no- no- get off little bro- that’s cringe-“ Benrey panicked, trying his best now to shout at the burning pain of the alien attempting to replace his face and head. “Ben-“ Gordon started, but paused when he noticed just how  _ desperate  _ and almost panicked Benrey looked as he tried to pry the alien off his face. The man turned, basically growling in frustration, desperately trying to rip the headcrab off, finally managing to turn his back to where it wasn’t against the wall anymore and stumbling backwards. Gordon followed the panicking guard, not sure of what to do and mostly watching, cautiously. 

“GET  _ OFF, BRO-“  _ Benrey roared, turning away from Gordon and hunching over, shaping his fingertips to where they were as sharp as blades, and impaling the headcrab with them. The headcrab screeched in pain, and finally loosened its bite on the guard’s face, but not before kicking its legs desperately in pain and fear. Benrey finally managed to rip the headcrab off its face, pure rage replacing the guard’s usual apathetic or smug expression. He threw it against the cement ground, and repeatedly stomped on the alien. The pained screech and cries of the headcrab was music to his ears. Benrey’s fingertips quickly returned to normal, but that didn’t stop him from continuing to grind the alien into the cement with his foot, until the creature was nothing more than a lime green stain on the cement. The guard smirked, satisfied with the alien’s death. 

“See, Feetman? I told you I co-“ Benrey started, turning around and meeting Gordon’s wide and shocked eyes. He’s gotten some pretty weird and angry looks from Gordon before, but nothing like  _ that.  _ “...wha?” Benrey asked, suddenly uncomfortable from the staring. Benrey eye’s drifted to the rest of the science team, who shared the same shocked expression as the leader. Benrey tilted his head, confused, and  _ very  _ uncomfortable. 

“...what  _ happened  _ dude?” Gordon asked, still gawking at Benrey for a reason the guard was clueless about. Gordon looked paler and more disturbed than usual. 

“Huh? What do you  _ mean,  _ bro?” Benrey said, before reaching to anxiously scratch the back of his hel-

Head.

Instead of the thick material of his helmet, he felt his greasy and messy hair, along with the rough texture of the raised skin and stitches. Benrey’s smug and confused expression dropped to pure horror, and time seemed to slow as he realized his  _ helmet wasn’t on.  _ He shakily raised his other hand to the right side of his face, feeling the raised skin and disgusting stitches that were displayed for everyone on the science team to see. He ran his fingers along the stitches, the path following from his right eye, across the bridge of his nose, and to his left ear. Benrey didn’t say anything as he followed the disgusting texture of the stitches, that were normally hidden by the shadow of his helmet. 

“...Benrey?” Gordon cautiously asked, and if Benrey was calm or feeling like his normal cocky self, he would think Gordon sounded  _ worried,  _ but he wasn’t feeling like his normal cocky self. He felt absolutely terrified, vulnerable, and paranoid. 

“Where is it..” Benrey muttered, voice barely above a whisper, as he desperately grabbed at the top of his head, attempting to hide the grotesque stitches that ran through the top of his head as well. His eyes desperately scanned the room, looking for the helmet, as he ignored the growing difficulty of breathing. This wasn’t good, this wasn’t fucking good. Any moment now, Gordon would raise his gun to shoot Benrey for the usual laughs the two had, but  _ no-  _ that can’t happen now- ONE bullet going through the top of his head would kill him,  _ hell _ , a fucking rock hitting the top of his head hard enough would kill him. Benrey hadn’t felt fear and panic this badly in forever, and he was desperately grasping at the top of his head as he stumbled around the room, trying to spot the stupid helmet. 

“Ben-“ Gordon started, before getting interrupted by Benrey roaring, “WHERE IS IT?!” In desperation. He angled his arms to where they were in front of his face, making it difficult to see, but Benrey was not thinking clearly. So many thoughts and horrible situations were racing through his mind at the speed of light, and he couldn’t  _ breathe,  _ and he couldn’t  _ think.  _ Benrey slid his shaking right hand down to his face, covering his eye but also managing to cover up the  _ disgusting  _ unnatural stitches that ran across his face. Benrey heard footsteps  _ very  _ close to him, and he didn’t even bother to go check who it was. He didn’t know who it was in front of him, but  _ all  _ it would take for him to actually die and never come back would be a bullet through his stitched up head, and that was enough for Benrey to snap. 

“GET AWAY BRO-“ he screamed, his voice almost breaking, and he started to try and back up to get  _ away  _ from the science team. He wasn’t sure where he was backing up to, but he felt himself press into the corner of the room. He could hear himself hyperventilating, and Benrey was so  _ scared.  _ He couldn’t breathe right, he was so  _ vulnerable,  _ this isn’t supposed to happen. He heard footsteps again, and Benrey could feel something slip from his lips. The warmth of the enchanting light orbs that belonged to his sweet voice. That did  _ wonders _ , and Benrey tightened his grip on his face, shaking and basically digging his fingers into his face and head. He still couldn’t  _ breathe,  _ why couldn’t he  _ breathe,  _ he tried to inhale and exhale, but it felt like there was no oxygen left. 

“A gray shade means that he’s afraid!” He heard Tommy say, and his voice was so  _ loud,  _ it was too  _ close _ . 

“SHUT UP-“ Benrey snapped again, sliding against the corner of the walls, and he felt  _ trapped,  _ he felt trapped in a closing in box with no oxygen. Benrey slowly slid onto the floor, curling his knees into himself, and still desperately grasping at the back of his head and face. He felt a warm trail of tears slowly drip down under his hand, and left cheek. He needed  _ space,  _ he needed out of this  _ box,  _ he needed to breathe, he needed his helmet. He could hear footsteps again, but they weren’t getting closer. That still didn’t do anything to comfort him, he knew they had guns, he knew they had ranged weapons, especially Gordon. Gordon wanted Benrey dead, and this was finally his chance. Thinking about that, Benrey felt his weak breath hitch, as he failed to hold back a terrified sob. He wondered how much longer he’d be struggling to inhale and continue choking until the oxygen ran out and he’d suffocate. He couldn’t die due to suffocation, but he couldn’t get a single quiet and clear thought through the paranoid and terrified screaming thoughts. 

“Benrey!” He heard Gordon’s call out, and when Gordon’s voice would normally be music to his ears and he would give everything to look at the beautiful man, that was everything he didn’t want right now. He  _ knew  _ Gordon despised him and wouldn’t hesitate to kill him for good. “Shut- shut UP, bro-“ Benrey struggled to get out in between terrified sobs and desperate gasps for air. He didn’t want to move his hand or look up, he didn’t want to see Gordon smirking while holding the gun for a hand he has  _ because  _ of Benrey to Benrey’s head before unloading the fingernail bullets into his head and killing him. 

“BENREY FOR FUCK’S SAKE, LOOK AT ME!” He heard Gordon shout, and Benrey couldn’t help but flinch at the shouting. Benrey didn’t want to look up, but he was terrified of what would happen if he didn’t. This was only a game, but he was part of the game. And his main weakness is currently displayed, and if he dies now with that weakness being used, he dies for good, and he didn’t want to die. So, Benrey shakily and cautiously looked up, and split his fingers apart so he could see through his hand. Instead of the smirking, ready to kill Gordon he expected, he was met with Gordon crouching down, gun not even whirring or pointed at Benrey, with an expression of genuine worry and concern on his face. 

“Finally- okay, Benrey, breathe with me,” Gordon instructed, moving his hand to show as he was breathing in. Benrey nodded, still harshly gripping onto his head and face. He was far too afraid to not follow what Gordon was saying, so he tried to inhale as Gordon did. It felt like forever until Gordon decided to fucking breathe out, so when he started to, Benrey couldn’t help but breathe out all at once completely erasing the progress he had. The panic rising up again, Benrey gasped desperately for air, to be able to _ breathe,  _ for his chest to feel like it didn't have a massive knot in it, and began freaking out again. 

Or he started too, before Gordon said, “Benrey- it’s okay- just- calm down. They’re looking for your helmet, just focus on breathing with me.” His voice was oddly soothing, a surprising contrast to the usual stressed yelling Benrey was used to from Gordon. Benrey nodded again, and waited for Gordon to inhale. When he did, he carefully followed, barely even thinking about the situation anymore and just desperate to breathe. Gordon took very slow and long breaths, which irritated Benrey, he wanted to breathe  _ now.  _ Eventually Gordon exhaled, and this time Benrey made sure to follow slowly and carefully instead of just exhaling all at once. The two continued with slow and steady breaths, with Benrey sometimes messing up and panicking again, but Gordon always made sure he started again. Eventually, Benrey felt his tight chest loosen and it suddenly easier to breathe, and he wasn’t panicking nearly as much. 

However, he still didn’t have his helmet, which meant he was still extremely vulnerable, so Benrey kept incredibly tense and cowering in the corner of the room, a tight grip on his face and head. “Can you move your hand, please?” Gordon asked, gesturing to the hand that was partially covering his face. Benrey tensed,  _ wanting  _ to say no, but all it took was a glance at Gordon’s right hand- er- gun and Benrey hesitantly slid his hand back up to the top of his head. Gordon took a step closer, carefully observing Benrey’s face, which set off so many alarm bells for the guard, who attempted to lodge themself into the corner even farther but failed. “Does it hurt still?” Gordon asked, a quiet and worried tone to his voice. 

“Huh?” Benrey asked in response. His face didn’t hurt anymore, well- it kind of stung, mostly around his nose where the headcrab’s teeth were lodged into. But Benrey wasn’t sure if Gordon meant the bite of the headcrab or the stitches. “The uh- where the crab thing bit you. It’s still bleeding. A lot actually,”Gordon explained. “It’s.. it’s fine,” Benrey quietly said, looking away from Gordon. He wanted Gordon to go  _ away.  _ He grasped at his head a little tighter, curling his knees in a little more. 

“I found it!” Benrey heard Tommy cheer, and Benrey perked up a little like a dog when they heard the word ”treat”.

“...wha?” Benrey asked almost in disbelief, as he watched Tommy skip into view, triumphantly holding Benrey’s helmet with both hands. 

“About fucking time! I want to get the hell outta here!” Benrey heard Bubby complain, but ignored it. Gordon moved, so that Tommy could hand Benrey the helmet. The second it was within arm’s reach, Benrey yanked it like he hadn’t seen it in  _ years  _ and shoved it back on his head, the shadow of the helmet covering the ugly stitch across his face, and the 4 crossing ones on the top of his head. Gordon blinked at that, surprised, since it looked like the stitches were never there. He watched as Benrey stood back up, wiping his eyes of the few remaining tears. 

Gordon smiled at him, and Benrey couldn’t help but smile back. Even if he was just terrified of the man a few moments ago, everything was nice and calm now. He was safe. 

“...how did you even get those.. stitches anyway?” Benrey held back a groan when Gordon asked that, but he supposed it was fair since he was the reason the man was missing a hair. Despite that maybe being fair, Benrey didn’t answer. “Did a not so epic move,” Benrey lied. Gordon seemed to catch that as a “I don’t want to talk about it” and stayed quiet, catching up to the others. Benrey didn’t want to tell Gordon why he had the stitches. Because then he would have to get into why he wasn’t really a security guard and how he was the “energy source“ Black Mesa was looking for. But Gordon would be able to figure that out himself in time. They were already getting close to Xen. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
